Whether you want more money in your life, more fun meaningful relationships, or more purpose, you might feel held back by your past. Maybe you had a difficult childhood, disappointments in early adulthood, or regrets. These experiences could creep into your present, giving you the feeling you won’t ever have what you want and don’t deserve it.
You can reconstitute your past—reconstruct it, if you will. The past is so full of contrasts and contradictions; impressions held loosely in a dreamy way by your ever-changing emotional state. When you are happy, the good memories may flood in to your mind; but, when you are sad, worried or anxious you draw those past events that match those feelings.
Even if your childhood was largely negative in your mind, I’ll bet you have cherished happy moments to recall if you place your focus on it. There is a trick to how to do this.
The interesting thing is this: that the past and future is quite plastic, and what we choose to focus on has a big impact on how we are experiencing our life right now.
A woman I once knew had a father who seemed to reject her and favored her brother. Even in her fifties, she was still ruminating on how her father hadn’t been the father she wanted. She would fall into this refrain to anyone who would listen. Her shoulders would slump forward and her head would hang down in the retelling. It reached into her present by affecting her attitude toward all men.
I’ve seen in my business people who unconsciously rise to the level of financial success that their parents reached and they seem to sabotage their chances for more. This could also apply to their level of happiness, lifestyle, or even health.
I now see how I could recall the failings of my father, the times where he fell short, disappointed us, causing the family great distress. But I never do. I choose to recall the times he spent listening intently while I wistfully revealed my dreams, the encouragement he gave me and the inspiration that I could become whatever I wanted to be. This is the father he wanted to be, that he meant to be, and the one I remember. I feel very good about him, and feel his guidance everyday. This does change my experience in the present, even though he passed away when I was 21 years old.
We can change our current situation by reconstituting our past. It is a heavy burden to walk around carrying those hurtful experiences on our shoulders. The energy of this hinders our positive movement forward.
We all daydream; and, in those times of daydreaming, we can embellish our proud moments, dwell in the happy occurrences of the past, revel in the tender moments we’ve experienced—especially those pivotal moments that changed our course, began new chapters, opened new vistas and we rose to challenges. Times where we knew we made a good impression, had a brilliant “Aha!” moment, lifted someone else up, or just felt a strong wave of bliss.
When we are happy, we find it easier to reach back and pluck the good memories. So do that. Find those times where what you desire now was present in your past. If you want more abundance, find the times when you were young that felt abundant. Times that you felt loved by intimate others, times where success seemed easy and infinitely expanding.
Surely, dwelling on these memories changes your present and your future. You’re erasing, or at least minimizing, the past negative influences so they lose power. You miraculously become that person who had the beneficial past: the advantageous past that lifts your present life to one where your dreams come true, your talents flow unimpeded, and your gifts grace the world.