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I can’t meditate.
I’ve heard this from people ever since I began teaching meditation 20 years ago, “I can’t meditate.”
It is the most common misconception regarding this ancient practice. It’s a fact that you already do.
Put on your seatbelts, because I’m going to give you a crash course in meditation. What is this?
It is included among our natural states. Not some rare achievement only for ‘special’ people.
This is for you. It’s something you do for the love of yourself. For your own discovery, opening, becoming, finding the fullness of your expression. There isn’t any immediate outward recognition of it, as our ego would wish. No one will know your accomplishment in this arena.
Yet as you grow, your essence will ripple out benefitting all. As you quietly shift into higher versions of yourself, with more patience, love, creativity, and peace, the effect on others will be evident.
All mental states of awareness are our birthright. Our most common state is that of our thinking mind, as in following the thoughts as they pass through our awareness. We see this as part of who we are. It is active, focused, and usually alert. The brain waves associated with this state are Beta waves. We are usually in our ego, our personality, identity, and the roles we play, along with all of our beliefs and judgments. And we pay such rapt attention to these thoughts!
The next state is mindfulness, or calm focus. Brain waves in this state are Low Beta. We’re relaxed, in the present, and can concentrate without strain. This often happens when we are aware of our breath, perhaps by practicing pranayama, yoga, or by observing a task very mindfully. I find this state popping up when I’m methodically chopping vegetables for a meal! Yet, we are still thinking.
The third state is a light meditation or a moment of creativity. Our brain moves into Alpha waves, which bring about a peaceful awareness, even daydreaming, and using our imagination. The mind is quieter, and the body is relaxed. This is when awareness opens to more information available to you. Some solutions to problems may suddenly appear.
Next, we find Deep Mediation and intuition. The brain waves reach the Theta State. We are deeply relaxed. We may receive some terrific insights when we are in this state. Subconscious material can percolate up into our awareness. We might even have visions. Thinking is still experienced, yet there are pauses or gaps. We’re not aware of these gaps until we’ve come back to our thoughts! Isn’t that interesting? In the pause, there is nothing but stillness, and it is very peaceful, restorative, and beneficial in so many ways.
There are more levels, Theta to Delta, and Delta all the way to Gamma, with its moments of awakening. The descriptions in ancient spiritual texts of people experiencing transcendence are filled with this profound awareness, loss of perception solely from the ego, total compassion, and insight. This, interestingly, correlates nicely with levels of consciousness, which is a common topic in my own writing.
But right now, I’d rather focus on your experience. We don’t move linearly from one brain wave to another. We can be in multiple waves simultaneously! We can be in a deep, still state yet be sharply aware.
A most important point I want to make here is this: Loosen your demands on yourself. This isn’t a test. Make it as easy as possible. Meditation is treating yourself to loving kindness. Approach the time with a feeling of reverence.
What sometimes happens to all of us? Thoughts go through our heads like:
· I don’t really have time
· Oh, I forgot to do that task
· I’d rather read, that’s good for me too.
· What’s on TV?
· I should give so and so a call
· I don’t feel like meditating
· I’m no good at this
· And so on…….
One of the most harmful things we can do is judge ourselves. We decide to skip meditation, then lambast ourselves because we ‘should’ have. Your emotions trigger cascades of hormones that flood your body, both beneficial and destructive ones. Negative, or self-condemning feelings, are actually more damaging than just skipping a meditation. Being harsh with yourself, walking away from your cushion, and being disappointed in yourself have no good outcome. If this happens frequently, you’ve built up a habitual groove of these reactions.
So what if you skip a meditation, or two or three? No great lightning will strike you. Be kind. Self-compassion is high on the scale of levels of consciousness.
This brings us to one of the fundamental benefits of having a spiritual practice like meditation and prayer. You will get to the place where you look forward to this time with yourself.
And you will have developed a beautiful way to comfort yourself when bad things happen. A way to find relief, knowing the greater reality is just a cushion away.
As you sit in your practice and focus on yourself, your body, your heart, your life, at some point, a movement of love will move through you, an upwelling of good feelings, because you’re giving yourself the space to honor your being. How magnificent, how miraculous, how impossibly created you actually are!
Let’s go through the experience together. Listen to some things you may notice:
As we begin to sit down to meditate, thoughts dart in quick succession, as is our ordinary state. Our attention is outward. We are alert, aware of our surroundings, of the sights and sounds, of how our clothes feel against our skin, of how the seat feels beneath us.
Interestingly, yoga, the physical asanas we do in yoga class, was developed by the gurus to enable them to sit in meditation more comfortably for long periods of time. It reduces the body’s surface tension and creates a state of mindfulness.
As we sit still, our breath begins to slow. We become more aware of our bodily signals. Maybe a tightness in the chest or stomach, perhaps an ache, an itch, or a general feeling of discomfort. We notice thoughts and emotions arising. We could be thinking of other things waiting for us; there are so many reasons we can come up with why we really don’t need to meditate right now. So many important things to do!
By turning inward, interoception shows up. It is the ability to feel and respond to internal messages from your body. Instead of pushing through our fatigue and ignoring cues like indigestion or hunger, as our society has taught us, we can reconnect with our physical sensations. In classical yoga, listening to the body’s messages is the 5th limb of yoga, called Pratyāhāra. It is a bridge between outer practices, such as yoga and breathing exercises, and deeper meditative states.
It is noticing emotional states moving through your body. Cultivating awareness of these internal signals shifts you from being driven unconsciously to being guided by them. You are deepening your awareness, recognizing that you are more than your thoughts and sensations. You are the consciousness that notices them.
Interoceptive awareness is enhanced by meditation, pranayama (breathwork), body scanning, and yoga postures. There is some evidence that interoceptive signaling can influence gene activity. Interoception directly affects your autonomic nervous system.
We surrender. We’re here, we’re ready, so we get to our practice. At this point, it is helpful to have a routine to shift inward. We can first say a prayer, and bring to our awareness those we’d like to hold in reverence, such as Jesus, Buddha, teachers, and even those with whom we argued because they had something to teach us. I have statues and photos of those I want to honor in front of me while I meditate because they are a great source of inspiration. After I’ve said my prayers, I mentally greet all those whom I’ve learned from with a Namaste. You can mentally recite, “I surrender to that greater than me. Or I surrender to God, the divine, the Universe, or you can say the all-encompassing mantra, Om Namah Shivaya, which means many things, but mostly surrendering with total devotion to the divine and your inner self. Another often-used one is “Peace, Be Still.”
Notice at this point if your breath has slowed. Or had it quickened, trying to remember all those to honor? Just the act of ‘trying’ may hold you back from the practice of meditation!
Meditation is the opposite of trying. This is a time to relax. Scan your body and relax all those tight spots. Breathe slowly, especially exaggerating the exhale. Do some pranayama if you know some calming ones.
Notice eventually, after 5, 10, or more minutes, a deeper quiet emerges. The inner chatter thins, and maybe a spacious ease fills the body. Some relaxation may be noticed. You are stilling the body. Slowly withdraw your attention from the physical. Allowing the inner-self to arise. You are meditating. There are only three things that can happen while you sit to meditate: you think, you fall asleep, or you experience an occasional gap in thoughts.
A vehicle that will advance your glide into stillness is the mantra. A mantra is a sound that you silently repeat to yourself while sitting in meditation. Many people use ancient mantras that carry the energy of certain purposes, having been used for thousands of years. Just as archetypes and common binding stories are carried in the unmanifest from our collective consciousness, so are sounds. There are mantras with special meanings and mantras called forth for specific reasons.
That said, when using a mantra, it isn’t helpful to think about its meaning, as this keeps us at the level of thought. By repeating a mantra, we just may interrupt the constant sentences that parade through our minds.
If you have never been given a mantra, you may use So Hum. It’s a nice, universally used one. Begin repeating it after you’ve prepared to practice. When you find yourself hopping back into paying attention to your thoughts, just gently bring yourself back to your mantra. You may find yourself doing this over and over, and that’s OK. It doesn’t matter. It means you are becoming aware of yourself when you realize you are thinking! It is a small wake-up. You can also gently observe your breath, instead of repeating a mantra.
This is a nesting poem by Kevin Anderson PHD. It was recently printed in Spirituality and Health Magazine, reprinted with permission.
I choose to live heavily meditated
I choose to live heavily meditated
because life is difficult
I choose to live heavily meditated
because life is difficulties and
joys all mixed together
I choose to live heavily meditated.
Because life is difficulties and
joys all mixed together,
I need time with the Divine Therapist.
Now prepare to meditate. Set a timer for your decided time. Get comfy with your back straight, your face relaxed, and your hands resting on your lap. Bring in your own ritual now. Or choose what I’ve given you here by surrendering, witnessing your breath, body observation, prayer, and honoring Divinity. Finally, repeat your mantra silently or focus on your breath. Namaste. Much Love.