When someone does something you view as despicable, it can cause an uncomfortable feeling in your gut, along with the feeling of anger at that person or group of people. And here is where your spiritual practice comes in because feeling this way causes you to suffer.
I had this happen recently. This ‘offense’ happened to a loved one, not myself directly, but I took it on as my responsibility to be outraged as well. I worked with this in the ways I knew how — meditation, observing and questioning thoughts, working on the physical sensations of the anger through yoga, and it all gave me temporary relief until someone brought it up again or I had to tell someone about this group (actually a group of lawyers*) that had done the offending, I would then feel the anger rising again. There is a visceral reward to fueling the anger, a blast of energy flooding the system and providing strength; but, in the end, it is miserable.
Last night, I received news that our office building had a theft; our two A/C units outside were stolen. It had happening before, 6 years ago. But I didn’t get mad. I was momentarily disappointed that this would be expensive, then I quickly gave gratitude that we have the resources to cover it. This morning, I was talking to someone who became angry at the thieves, and I realized that hadn’t come up for me. I also know deep in my heart that those who stole from us were just trying to feel better, thinking maybe additional money would do it. It won’t; so they didn’t gain anything other than more suffering.
This morning, I was able to juxtapose that to the group of lawyers and realize that their actions are from a place where they are just trying to feel better. If they get this money, or ruling, or action, they will feel better. We know it doesn’t work that way, yet it is the world that they are living in.
Once realizing this, and realizing, to put it as a wise friend did, that my loved one is queen of her kingdom, as I am queen of my kingdom, and this is happening in her kingdom, I am able to detach myself from the drama of it. This is the gift I am grateful for.
*This is not a derision of all lawyers, I know many good people who are good lawyers.