Envision a beautiful castle surrounded by lush green undulating land. There is a clear, clean bubbling brook running through the property. Tall, majestic trees line the fields. Flowers grow along the drive to the castle itself and there is a mote surrounding the castle.
Within your castle is your pure self, void of any other person’s issues, opinions, criticisms, problems and judgments. Within your kingdom, your life is fresh, expansive, and always creating from your heart and soul. It is joyful and peaceful.
The mote holds the other concerns outside of your emotional experience. You can see the problems of others and help them with compassion. You are a source of strength and guidance to others. You remain steady in the midst of their struggles.
But sometimes you leave your castle, crossing over the mote. Having left your kingdom, you enter into the kingdoms of others. When others judge you, label you, or treat you hurtfully, you are left vulnerable. You’ve left the strength of your kingdom behind.
When others are suffering emotionally or physically, you want to be compassionate; but, outside of your kingdom, you go from witnessing their pain to descending into their pain. You hurt right along with them. You are no longer the source of strength they needed.
Once outside of your kingdom, you lose your confidence; if a boss criticizes you, or a mate, friend or foe, you withdraw into self-retribution or strike out. Outside of your kingdom, you feel defenseless and don’t realize what happened.
Measuring yourself against some outside example in any area, including education, parenting, career, image or possessions always means you’ve left your kingdom.
Staying within your kingdom is a practice that is ongoing.
The first step is understanding and recognizing when you’ve left it, what are the signs?
First of all, your kingdom and its attributes are who you really are. It is your birthright. You’ve been given command over your life, an amazing system in which to create, and unlimited resources to do so. When you aren’t experiencing your kingdom, you may notice one or more of these:
- You aren’t fulfilled
- Frustration in your careers
- Wish you had more money
- Not enough time
- Negative self-talk
Fill in the blank! Whatever is pulling your from peace, your dreams, your inspirations.
Staying in your kingdom gives you clarity, creativity, and wellbeing. So why do we leave? We may be pulled into other’s conflicts, worry about other’s opinions, make choices based on other’s influences instead of our own inner guidance or have a belief of what we ‘should’ be doing that isn’t really honoring us.
Identify what is not in your kingdom, i.e. the happiness and experiences of others, cultural messages, what success looks like, looking for approval and so on.
The second step is learning skills to get you back.
The key here is knowing who you are. Being aware of what you are telling yourself, what you are feeling, and getting in touch with your higher knowing where your thinking is clear and accurate.
The emotions that are felt from allowing yourself to be pulled into the kingdoms of others are the feelings that derive from fear. The body is always registering either comfort or discomfort. These are the clues that tell you where you are in relation to your authentic, timeless, boundless, creative self.
When these fear-based emotions arise, allow them to be recognized and name them. Try not to push them back down. Let them go.
The third step is how to stay in your kingdom.
Activate your self-referral. This is a function of moving from your ego-based self to your higher self. Here you have your intuition and inner intelligence available. This becomes easier if you meditate and do some type of yoga to grow in your self-awareness. Within your kingdom, you will find solutions and wellbeing.
When you learn to claim your own kingdom, your sense of peace and clarity is the stasis that you return to again and again.