The ‘law of attraction’ can be a refreshing new thought to entertain, or it can be a real downer. It depends on many things, one of which is how you process information, what your beliefs and experiences have been, and of course where you are now in your life. It can be overwhelming to think that every thought you think can make unwanted as well as wanted things happen in your life. It can be a source of stress you heap upon yourself to think this is an area where you are failing.
Having coached others through all types of issues and observing my own results of setting intentions, watching thoughts, and visualizing, I want to clear up some misconceptions about what is possible, and when you may be setting yourself up for disappointment.
Firstly, we are born with a mind/body type which somewhat filters, in a way, the information coming to us from the world. Our perception leans in a particular direction if it is unexamined. Ayurveda, an ancient healing tradition from Eastern Yogic wisdom, is an excellent body of knowledge to determine your own type. Take a quiz here. Earth type, or Kapha, will tend to withdraw in sadness when stressed, Fire, or Pitta, will stew or lash out in anger at others who are blamed, and Air, or Vata, will feel anxious and worry how they caused the problem. When attempting to create a wanted reality using the law of attraction, each type will react differently when a failure is experienced (note here, there is no failure, only missed expectations). Kapha may get down, Vata might become anxious and Pitta may become irritated.
Secondly, our experiences, which we consume during our lifetime, also shade our beliefs, what we think is possible, and what we don’t even entertain because it appears outside of what we think is possible.
Thirdly, our resultant expectations and how they have been shaped by the first two points.
Trying to think positive without knowing yourself and your own reactions may cause you to become anxious, depressed, or even angry.
The reasons for this are obvious once you learn to observe your thoughts, witness your reactions, and develop the ability to distance yourself from the drama and chaos that normally runs through people’s minds on a daily basis. This emotional, human side of us isn’t our true selves. Our true selves are hidden beneath the turbulent mind. Our spiritual, inner-self is peaceful and still; a stillness that is replete with bliss, wonder and contentment. This is who we are, and the more we tap into that part of us, the more tools we have to create whatever it is we want. Hence, the law of attraction eventually and naturally becomes a part of our experience.
The law of attraction is but a part of the grand cosmic design that also includes the misunderstood karma, duality, and archetypal energies to name a few. As we grow in awareness, the law of attraction becomes more conscious as a natural component. We find our desires become fulfilled easier and we don’t get so upset when things don’t go our way.
We learn what we focus on increases, what we resist, persists, and we can clearly observe this.
I will give you an example. Recently, I was sitting cross-legged on the floor in a nook of a meditation hall at a silent retreat, when I noticed a woman lying down on her back in the center of the floor. She was obviously in some discomfort, for she often fidgeted. She was wearing several bangle bracelets, so every minor adjustment she made caused a jangling sound. As I paid attention to this, it grew more irritating. Thoughts increased in my mind such as, I should tell someone to make an announcement to not wear jingly jewelry to meditation, and I can’t believe she doesn’t realize how much noise she is making. Surely it’s bothering other people too. A part of me knew this was just the ramblings of my egoic mind.
The next day I moved to another corner, and she ended up pulling up right beside me. The third day I sat in one of the regular seats and the lady behind me was making lots of noise. When I got up, sure enough, it was the same woman. It was then I had to laugh at myself and realize the creator of this whole tale about this woman was myself. That was all it took. I never saw her again after my realization.
From small things to great things, it works the same way. What we pay attention to will become more present in our lives. When we are grateful for all the gifts life presents us with, the sun, the breeze, clean clothes and good food, nice people around us and work to do, more of it appears. When we just notice the lack of desired things or that we aren’t yet where we want to be, more and more of that will show up. More evidence of what we don’t have will be displayed in front of us.
It is key to notice where you are that is good. To be kind and generous to yourself as you watch the thoughts that cause you to suffer, and don’t buy into them. The easiest way to shift into this awareness is to begin a meditation practice. The more you meditate the more you develop the ability to watch your ego going through its goofy, false machinations and laugh at them. There are other mindful practices too: a walk in nature, practicing presence whatever you are doing, going over your day in your mind when you lie down to go to sleep, witnessing in a few minutes what transpired, (recapitulation) and observing your physical sensations.
I’d be remiss if I didn’t also mention the painful emotions that naturally arise whenever old hurts or memories come up. This is a gift, because it is an opportunity to allow acknowledgment of this feeling. Without labeling or entertaining a story about it, witness the physical sensation of this feeling and observe it until it subsides. Continued practice of this will enable these old repressed emotions to be cleared, further enabling wanted things to flow to you. A great book on this is Letting Go by Dr. David Hawkins.
The most important thing is this: make it easier on yourself. The kindness you extend to yourself has the greatest returns. As you become aware of your thoughts and reactions to the world around you, you now give yourself a choice. You choose how to react, you choose what is important to you, not based on what other people think, but based on what is in your heart. You will laugh at the goofy thoughts that come into your head sometimes, seeing where they came from.
And the law of attraction will be as common in your life as the wind, it will become a normal event, you’ll only notice it once in a while, but you know it is there and it causes no stress.