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When it first sunk in
This unbelievable condition
My world shifted as much as
being suddenly blinded
I could not see the world as it had been
It was a new scary place
I didn’t belong here
Lost in a land of constant discomfort
This past year I’ve been fighting reality on this planet, wanting my old life back where I didn’t need to worry daily about a family member’s struggles, activities or condition. This constant worry was a form of prison in which I thought I may never figure out how to escape. I’d have moments—periods of time I felt ‘normal’ again, but it was temporary. This worry was so large that every other worry was morphed to an inconsequentially small one.
But in my windows of sanity I would take small moments to research, ponder and meditate, and then a bit more moments in between my feelings of overwhelming angst, and I finally began to see slivers of light.
I found some poignant posts in a Facebook support group, but a large amount of the posts would express how bad it is, how the disease is horrible, how their loved one is gone from them, and many of the loved ones are suffering with irritability, depression and anger. Most agree it is really tough.
Right now, my son is usually well, loves attention, and still has moments of clarity. His has been a slow onset of the last few years, with a diagnosis a year and a half ago. He wasn’t always though. He would get down, irritable, and stubborn. That was before we learned a different way to be around him.
Think of his perspective. Think of the courage it takes to wake every day and have the knowledge you are deficient. You are forgetful. There is something wrong with your brain. But you don’t understand why. It’s just there and feels bad. But you arise and enter the day, maybe not knowing or understanding what it may hold. That’s courage. People may ask you questions that you can’t answer. Or tell you you’ve done something wrong, or news that’s depressing, yet you can’t come up with words to let others know how that makes you feel. But you still go about your day as best you can.
I am learning new care giving skills. By no means am I perfect, but little by little I am changing my behavior to elicit wellbeing in my son.
The straight forward, modern treatment has been to keep the patient clean, well-fed, happy and occupied, if possible. For any difficult behavior that prevents this, the solution is often trying various pharmaceuticals. I’m not denying that sometimes it is warranted, especially when the patient is presenting a danger to himself or others. But I am often surprised how many drugs some of these patients are on. Some have horrendous side-effects.
I am also surprised how some psychiatrists think making these patients ‘face reality’, even though they will forget over and over, is helpful. I just read a post from a son whose mother is in a facility and keeps asking to go home. Her psychiatrist told the son she needs to be told the house is sold. Imagine her hurt every time she hears this, needing to be told this over and over. Instead, she could be told, oh, the house had a plumbing accident, it is such a big mess, it isn’t livable right now. She could accept this and have a sense of wellbeing.
This idea came from a new method for caregivers called Contented Dementia and was developed by an intuitive woman, Penny, who noticed her own mother with dementia had a sense of wellbeing when she was with her, but Mom was very difficult and irritated when she was with Dad. Her husband was a doctor and didn’t want to accept that his wife had dementia. He badgered her with questions and insisted she could remember if she really tried. He tried to control her.
Conversely, when with Penny, Penny would study her mom’s reactions and feelings, attempting to view things from her perspective. For example, when her mom was placed in an assisted living cottage, when Penny visited, she would tell her mom when she had to go home. And every time it would make her mom cry terribly. She discovered it was the word ‘home’. Her mother wanted to go home too. When Penny switched to, “I have to go pick up some things at the store and I will be back tomorrow, is there anything that you would like me to bring you?”
Her mother accepted this easily. No more tears!
There is a lot more in this new method, but the basis of it is this: Yes, the memory is affected, (and personality in FTD) but the person’s emotions are still felt 100%. Penny discovered that she could help patients tap into their wellbeing when she understood the emotions they were experiencing. Even someone with deficient memory can feel contented.
With my son, I try not to ask him a battery of questions, but rather poke around the topic with statements. He doesn’t feel pressured to try to come up with an answer, which, if the answer isn’t available to him, can make him feel like he failed.
In the past I’d ask him, “What did you have for lunch?” and he would look blankly at me while he searched in his mind for the information. Usually it wouldn’t come and his face would fall.
When someone with dementia feels good about himself, more information is available. The stress is gone. If I say while looking in the fridge, “Boy you have lots of great meals to choose from. I’ll bet you’re full.” Often, miraculously, he’ll respond, telling me what he had. I wasn’t demanding he remember anything. Out of feeling good the memory was offered up.
And getting him to do his chores (getting him to be physically active is good for him) was really difficult before. Now, not so much. Just this morning I saw some limbs laying in the yard, and I said, “It’s a good time to take these branches down to a pile on the road. I think the truck is coming today. I could use some help.”
He popped right up to help. In the past I would’ve asked him “Will you pick up the fronds and limbs in the yard and get them down to the road today?” He’d say yes, he’d do it, and then it would never get done.
I’ve also read on support groups family members saying, “My loved one isn’t there anymore.” But somewhere deep inside they are still there; pay attention to the emotions, if they are able to still emote. If not, you need to seek even deeper, until you can feel the essence of that person, because, I believe, their soul is still there, still holding that body in perfect, infinite love.
Much like most of you I have friends and family members who cover the spectrum of beliefs and ideologies. Intelligent people I know and respect who think so differently from each other on so many topics: politically, on health, fiscally, socially and more. I watch and hear the confusion people are feeling trying to understand this wide diversity among people close to us.
Look how confusing it is in our world today.
And no one takes responsibility for this. We hear the cry; it is the evil media’s fault; they are the villain here. It is the politician’s fault; no, the ‘other party’s’ fault. You can find stories to validate whatever it is you are inclined to believe. Then you can feel justified in your judgments, your opinions, and ‘know’ you are right and others are wrong. Even the pandemic, of which we are in the middle of, is worse, or not nearly as bad, as the different sources say.
Let’s stop for a moment and look at where our judgments come from. In our modern world we have this gigantic compilation of all the egoic thoughts represented on the internet. Like a global brain, mass consciousness is suspended in the Ethernet, holding all good, bad and indifferent indiscriminately.
We don’t know how to handle all of this information overload. We spent a few million years living in small clans, knowing an infinitesimal bit about the greater world around us. We went on instinct, our guts, and our emotions, observing others near us, understanding what kept us safe, and had to stay focused on finding food and surviving.
Now most of us don’t need to worry about getting enough food, or a safe place to sleep. With our time we can spend it coming up with new ways to live and entertain ourselves day after day after day.
So, where are we now? We work toward what constitutes a good life and how we want to be, and we gather with those who agree with us, but find many in our sphere don’t, and low and behold we find millions of others disagree. Then others sometimes hold back on discussing topics, or quietly separate from us, or they may argue with us, or even get enraged!
The truth is we all are creating our own individual worlds from our own consciousness. Our own minds. We absorb—consume is a better word—all the information coming into our senses. We react with a combination of judgements, reactions and ensuing emotions. We base all our assumptions and beliefs on our history. Our ego is like an operating system that has learned about the world since our birth. This is where our judgments come from.
We couldn’t survive without it.
But almost all of our suffering is caused by the ego. Our thoughts about a situation, and our feeling that we are powerless to fix it, drop a blinder in front of us, blocking a way out of the suffering. We don’t see the suffering coming from inside our minds but blame everything outside of us. We become open to explanations served by conspiracy theories. We reinforce this suffering by talking to our friends about how terrible everything is. We all do this to some extent, and it is so hard not to. Yet it holds us away from our sense of inner peace.
We can learn to ‘see’ the deeper reality below all of this created chaos by being anchored in the unchanging, omniscient, omnipresent source; use your own words here: God, The Unmanifest, Source. Let’s see how.
We have another ‘mind’ besides the ego; that is our higher consciousness. That part of us that nudges and whispers when we stop to look within; when we take a moment to listen, actually connecting to our source. Pause, be mindful, meditate, be present, these are all suggestions to hop beyond the judgmental mind’s suffering.
No matter what is going on in your own world right now—you may be experiencing difficulties or illness—in this moment, you are sitting there reading these words and you are OK. The sun will still rise tomorrow. All that really exists is this moment, right now. Stop burdening yourself with worrying about the whole world. It’s futile. Worrying about all the other people who think differently from you won’t change anything. Worrying about the newscaster who said something incorrect, the politician who said something awful, the latest numbers on the virus, the violence and natural disasters, will not help anything.
Create love in your heart. Find a way to seek to understand the hearts of others. That’s all. Then you are moving from ego to love. And as always, with enough people seeking love and understanding, we will change the world.
There are many terrific ideas being proposed to help our culture include more equality, from improving education, to assigning more mental health professionals to work with the police, and taking to the streets to bring awareness and express dissatisfaction. Most are old ideas. I’ve watched this struggle since I can remember; in the 1960s and 70s there was a similar upheaval for change and healing of the racial disparity. There was much talk and action to address it. Yet here we are, circling back, realizing how our efforts have failed. Why?
One reason is our piecemeal approach, so many programs that affect only a few people. Or ideas like Head Start; an honest effort, but didn’t address the real problem. And equating throwing more money as a solution to problems. More food stamps, more welfare, more school lunches. While much of it is necessary, this still doesn’t address the cause. Legislating to stop discrimination is nice but doesn’t address the problem. Pulling down Confederate statues may help emotionally, but will never address the problem.
Just as a rising tide lifts all boats, lifting the entire society to become more aware, more conscious is the only real solution.
It is the only one that doesn’t continue to slap band aids on a cultural problem. If we continue to be focused on the symptoms and not the cause, we will never get there. And it isn’t the easiest, but it is possible.
What we need to stop doing:
What we need to start doing:
By raising awareness, or consciousness, in a significant number of people in society, systemic problems like racism will wane naturally because we grow in self-reflection, empathy, and broader perspectives. We will develop an ability to listen to diverse opinions without reacting negatively. With compassion and care for everyone, we will all rise.
Photo by Ehimetalor Akhere Unuabona on Unsplash
Why are we so surprised when someone acts badly, horribly? There have always been people who do so. Why do we expect others to change and behave because we tell them to or think they should?
When people we like say unfortunate things we excuse them, when people we disapprove of say unfortunate things we say, “See, see how awful that person is?”
Our whole law and order system is based on the premise that we have no control over ourselves and will purposely do bad things if we are allowed to, but not if there is a law against it. Huh?
We keep expecting military, police and others in the line of danger to control themselves, even after teaching them how to harm and kill others. Are we giving them skills to increase their insight, judgment, and self-control?
Why do we hoard toilet paper? Why do selfless acts, people doing the ‘right’ thing, bring so much attention?
There is so much going on, originating from our primitive past and evolution, to our states of awareness or consciousness. The great majority of us don’t get up and plan to do harmful things one day. We expect people to behave because most of us tend to follow the rules, use care and make decisions not to harm without even thinking about it.
But we are emotional beings, and when we are tripped emotionally by fear, real or imagined, our primitive part of our brain, the reptilian brain, hijacks our rational, more evolved brain. When fear sets in and takes hold, our basic survival reflexes take over, and our thoughts go from reasonable to “I won’t have any toilet paper!”. More seriously, when fearing our existence could be extinguished, the root of all fear.
And we have the media and social sites stoking the flames over and over and over causing more brains to go into survival mode. It is like an inflammation of society. It is the old adage, what you pay attention to grows.
What is the answer? What I have always maintained; enough of us having the intention to raise our consciousness, our awareness. We can learn how to subdue the primitive brain and not allow this knee-jerk reaction of fear. There is a profound amount of research now to support the myriad benefits of conditioning our minds with meditation, yoga and other mindful practices, and understanding how to attain wellbeing, which includes health, happiness and prosperity. If enough of us do this it will raise the mass consciousness perhaps to the point where we will begin to see clearly the causes of these outbursts we see on the news, like the woman in the park who called the police on a black man just telling her to leash her dog, or more dire acts of violence such as the policeman who killed a black man in custody. It is more than prejudice, it is low consciousness, which doesn’t suppress a primitive response such as fear, apathy and other ignorant reactions that can lead to cruelty. (Noted, a black person seeing what happens to other black people when confronted by a bad policeman, will feel fear. To ask someone in this situation to not feel that way in this present day is ridiculous.)
We are all brainwashed in that we all are prejudice. We grow up with our family of origin’s beliefs, our communities, our culture’s and the beliefs of those who we chose to be around, right or wrong. Then, we have layers added from the media, internet and Hollywood images. We seek out validation of our own opinions and surely, we find them. It is mostly unconscious.
We think we are right and others who disagree with us are wrong. That is prejudice. All sides of an issue have varying degrees of validity. It takes maturity to see another’s viewpoint. To see their hurt behind their harmful words and actions. To see their fear in the violent acts. To see their desperation in their hateful speech or destructive actions. It isn’t easy.
To be open-minded doesn’t come naturally; it takes intention and effort, it takes introspection.
The miracle is how our society functions as good as it does most of the time. The great majority of police and military act with honor and conscientiousness. Most of the protests are peaceful and productive. Most drivers are driving carefully. Most people, given the opportunity, will not steal. Most people show kindness daily. And this isn’t because of our man-made laws, it is because of consciousness.
When I saw a white policeman kneel beside the protesters, and another wrapping his arms around one, a lump formed in my throat. Then, I saw more police talking of the great need for real conversation between the black community and police departments. And I now see a small light emerging. Growth. Will it be fanned instead of more of the grief and anger? Will we now listen to each other and move to the next level of awareness with love and kindness?
I just made room in a filing cabinet for about 15 pounds of files for my son’s care: finances, medical records, legal documents, disability insurance papers, health insurance, work records, address changes and bills. Very heavy both physically and emotionally as I’ve carried them back and forth from home to work, work to home, because I never knew when I’d need information that was in one of those folders. I’m in a window where I can put it all down for a time.
I’m writing to you today about this because now that I have the added stress of the Coronavirus, and trying to keep our family safe, it is more important than ever to stop and recognize how we are doing, find what works and what doesn’t to help us maintain good physical and mental health in rough times. Along with doing this for myself I wanted to share it with all of you. Believe me, when I write recommendations like this, they are very much for myself too!
My older son was diagnosed with Frontotemporal Degeneration, a mysterious disease that affects people, usually between 45 and 65. I know of one afflicted with it who is only 26. Unlike Alzheimer’s, it usually shows up with personality changes that can be so subtle that the affected person’s family, though confused by some behavior, may miss the severity of the onset. Memory is eventually affected and this disease includes dementia.
I tell you this because it has been extremely challenging, and out of necessity, I am finding I must embrace all the skills, practices, and knowledge I’ve learned from following my interests in health—physical and emotional—and spirituality. And I’d like share a few pointers and suggestions to find some relief yourself, especially if you feel overwhelmed, irritated, sad or depressed during this difficult time. Life can be hard enough just getting through normal times!
I don’t presume any of these ideas will bring you wonderful normalcy or complete relief, but every small thing you can do to take care of yourself is very important.
Here are my 7 suggestions, all of which I depend on at different times. I wouldn’t like to wonder where I’d be without these practices. I know I’d be more anxious, with deeper sadness, harder to get alone with, and less loving.
In brief:
1) Be Easy on Yourself and Take care of each other
We might all be feeling more irritable, more anxious or sad. This makes it so easy for us to say things we don’t really mean to loved ones, make quick judgments without thinking, or pull away from others. Taking good care of ourselves enables us to be more patient and understanding with others, who are also feeling the stress. Best practice is to be very quick to forgive yourself as well as others, start over, release those judgmental thoughts, and be present. Find a trick or a mantra to remind yourself when things begin to bother you. One I use is “It doesn’t matter,” Or Om Nama Shivaya. More on forgiveness in the section on emotional intelligence below.
When emotions grip you, find a moment to sit quietly and ask yourself where are you feeling this in your body? Your chest, gut, throat? Be present with the sensations without resisting them or repressing them. Give the feeling a label; I’m angry, I’m frustrated etc. They want acknowledgment! They usually slowly dissipate after the feelings have been acknowledged. You may find yourself doing this several times and that is OK. That tightness, that ache, that pain, left unacknowledged will get louder in another form if it is pushed away, ignored or repressed.
And think kindness. First to yourself and then others.
2) Create Balance
Since most of us are home-bound we have a lot more time to see what needs to be done around the house; maybe we start some big home projects, or maybe we become more sloth-like and take a lot of naps! We need balance.
Balance in our rest/activity, sleep/wake, and balanced diet, as well as play and work.
When working on a project, on the computer, or chores, break it up with things you enjoy doing; reward yourself for each accomplished task.
A great reference I refer to is Ayurvedic recommendations. The premise of Ayurveda is balance itself, in all ways. So much of this body of knowledge is finding validation from modern science. That is, modern science is discovering the truths Ayurveda knew thousands of years ago.
According to Ayurveda there are three main doshas, or mind/body types, and everyone is a combination of these. I recommend going on the Banyan Botanicals website to take the quiz and see what your make-up is, and what suggestions for a balanced diet and daily plan is for your Dosha.
I covered the wake-sleep cycle in this article a few months ago. sleep/wake cycle,
3) Taking care of your Physical self
Walking is an excellent form of activity that is good for all body types. If you tend to be thin, you are most likely a Vata body type, and Hatha Yoga or some other slow, mindful yoga is best. If you are athletic, with good muscle formation, short spurts of more intense exercise are good. If you tend to be stocky and have good stamina you can do just about any exercise. Please refer to your health providers before changing your routine. You can also check more recommendations on the Banyan website once you learn your Dosha type.
Another wonderful practice to reduce stress is massage. The benefits are well documented: the mental relaxation, the flushing of toxins, boosting the immune system, and lymphatic drainage. Right now, we are unable to get massages from a masseur, but we can do it ourselves with a self-massage. I do this in about 5 minutes before jumping in the shower. Use a pleasant scented natural oil and slowly massage your body beginning at the scalp, (or face if you aren’t washing your hair). For my Dosha, Vata/Pitta, I use sesame oil, cured, with a few drops of vetiver, sweet basil and patchouli. To cure the oil, buy organic sunflower, sesame or coconut and simmer until you see it churn a bit and a water dropped into it pops. Don’t let it boil. Allow it to cool before returning it to its bottle. Then add the essential oil. Here are complete instructions.
4) Meditate
For me, this is essential. I know it is so easy to find you don’t have time, feel like you can’t stop your thoughts, and while sitting trying to meditate, you think of so many things you could be doing. But nothing will give you the same benefits as meditation. No matter how many times you’ve tried, know you can meditate.
First rule, you cannot do it wrong, and any ‘trying’ must be let go of. All it requires is sitting still on your chair or mat with your eyes closed or slightly open and gazing down. Everyone, even the most experienced meditators, have thoughts going through their minds. So what? Have a phrase or mantra to repeat over and over, and when you find you are deep into the story your thoughts are telling you, stop, and pay more attention to the silent repetition of your mantra. It could be Let go, Let God or Peace, be Still, or any of the traditional mantras like So Hum. Here is my short discussion and instruction on my resources page. There are also many guided meditations. Deepak Chopra has some excellent ones on YouTube and Facebook.
I admit I’ve gone through upheavals where it hurt my daily practice, but looking back, the faster I was able to incorporate this daily practice back into my life, the faster my life reached a state of more wellbeing.
Being a meditator doesn’t mean your life becomes a smooth, completely pleasant one. Of course, events and situations pop up, like this Covid-19, problems with other people in your life, illness or hardships, and all the things we experience in daily life. But you may find how you respond to these things gradually changing. You may find your highs during the day are a little higher, and your negative feelings come perhaps not so strong. Your irritation may come with more awareness, you might find yourself empathizing easier, understanding on a deeper level. If you could graph your moods during the day—
the highs and lows—you could see the shift, and that shift is a rise in consciousness.
When I am knocked low because of events I cannot control, and my emotions erupt into a full-blown storm, even then I know I have tools, there are things I can do immediately to lift some of the anxiety, anger or sadness. Sometimes is takes more than a day to get my balance back, But, so far, I always do.
As you learn to meditate, be easy with yourself. If you feel you failed or forgot to meditate, be gentle instead of self-condemning. Forgive yourself and start over.
5) Be in the Moment
Know this is temporary, practice presence.
“Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.” ~ John Lennon
Being in the moment is another way of saying be mindful. It means that whatever you are doing, you are paying complete attention to it instead of tuning in to the constant parade of worries about the future or lamenting over the past. Even currently, you may have more than one problem in your life—we’re all stressed by the Covid-19—or you are worrying about a loved one. Yet in this moment, while you’re cutting vegetables, on an errand, opening mail, paying bills, worrying at this moment isn’t a bit productive. I knew a counselor who called this disaster planning.
One thing I do is put that concern on an imaginary elevator of my mind, up and away, maybe even writing it down. Then I go back to chopping those vegetables in a mindfully, totally present way, and, as does often happen, later, with a clear mind, a solution to that problem will emerge.
When we are focused on our inner stories—what will happen, how bad things are, what happened in the past—not only are we missing the beauty of this moment of life, but we are sending fight or flight hormones throughout our body. Every cell is listening to your emotional state, your anxiety heralding warnings to brace for some unknown enemy with perfectly orchestrated reactions, and every system is affected. When this becomes a constant state, it is inevitable that it affects your wellbeing in small or big ways.
Being in the moment, mindful, right now, reverses all that. There are so many things we can do to shift this. Moving our attention from our thoughts and our mind to our bodily sensations is a big one. Yoga is great for this, as is mindful walking, most sports, or delving into your passions: a hobby or creative activity like quilting, writing, drawing, building things, anything that you need to focus in the here and now. Peace Be Still.
6) Emotional Intelligence
What is emotional intelligence? Depending on whether you’re using this term as an attribute, as part of a person’s character, maturity, or other quantifier, we instinctively know the more emotionally aware and knowledgeable we are about what we or other people are feeling, the better we are at dealing with difficult emotions.
Very much like the consciousness studies of Dr. David Hawkins and the Integral Psychology theory of Ken Wilbur, we know there must be a graduating scale upon which we find our own level of understanding of ourselves and the world. The more we understand, the more aware we are of our own motivations and others, the easier it is to overcome strong, unpleasant emotions. Haven’t you been so upset at another person or situation, that your peace is destroyed? Your thoughts about it causes unpleasant, visceral reactions in your body, affecting your sleep, and making you irritable, sad, or anxious? It is like a dark mood has taken over your whole being. While you’re blaming someone, blaming yourself, or just trying to repress it, you can’t seem to move past it. Eventually something has to give, and hopefully it isn’t causing more drama or creating an imbalance in your body.
One of the biggest signs that you are gaining emotional intelligence is realizing that what is making you miserable isn’t so much the situation or the behavior of another, but your reaction to it. So, how to we move into this? One of the tools I find essential for getting a handle on this is Byron Katie’s, The Work. It is a worksheet you can print out from her site or put the app on your phone. It moves you through steps that help you look at the situation or the other person with a new perspective. I highly recommend it for those stuck in their own drama.
When strong emotions overcome you, when you are feeling down, angry, or sad, these feelings are held within your body. See the instructions in number one above for the exercise suggested to let these emotions dissipate.
Forgive yourself and others. This can be really hard, I know. It is often harder to forgive oneself than others. Emotional intelligence also includes giving yourself love. Find ways to be loving to yourself. We hear all the time, Love Yourself. But how do you do that? By forgiveness, actions showing yourself loving kindness, allowing yourself to fail, taking breaks, declining from things that pose more stress, and giving yourself the gift of ease; making it easier on yourself. I’ve found over the years Catherine Ponder’s prayer on forgiveness helpful.
Emotional intelligence also includes knowing who is good for you to be around and who isn’t; who to invite into your energy field. This is another way of being in-tune with your gut reactions to other’s and what they are saying. One of the difficult things about having a serious situation like in my family now, is when confiding in others and their reactions cause more hurt. And I do know they are trying to help, but, especially with those of us who are educated in one of the many alternative health modalities, sometimes a person I am talking to will give me unsolicited advice of an exhausting list of research, things to look up, things to try, until I feel sick inside, and it makes my head hurt. My reaction is, Oh, my God I’m not doing enough or I’m doing it wrong, etc. I then have to step back and work out of those feelings, because I know I am doing as much as I am able to maintain my son’s and my own healthy balance. Sometimes, of course, people respond with simply, I’ll pray, or I feel your pain, and that is helpful. And sometimes I do ask for advice, especially from professionals and friends who have experienced something similar.
7) Look to our experts
Also, when our tools fail, our practices are ineffective, our emotions are creating too much pain, it’s a very good idea to call on professional help. I wish more people understood mental health counseling. We, unfortunately have a resistance in our culture, many believing it is a weakness to seek a therapist. We benefit by those who are well known being open about their own therapy. I heard just the other day, a CNN announcer share something he had learned in therapy that helped him. Many problems with anxiety, depression, or obsessive behavior is very responsive to a few weeks of good therapy.
We will all get through this. It is not the end, like John Lennon said. I will give you something else, Deepak Chopra has been offering a video daily to help us during this time.
Dr. Chopra often talks about our existential angst which originates in our most basic fear, the fear of loss of our ego, the fear of death. He doesn’t get too deep into that in the video below, but the fear of death is at the base of all fears. And when we are discussing all the negative emotions, all the problems we face, it helps to remember at the spiritual level, there is no way we can be really harmed. We spring from our Source, God, infinite, non-physical Divine Love, and all is unfolding for our greater good. We are evolving and expanding in each moment with greater potential. Connecting to our spiritual self will bring the assuredness of our invincibility.
This list is from Deepak’s episode in his series: Spiritual Solutions Part 7: I am infinite flexibility, resilience and dynamism.
Here is a link to this talk on Facebook. One of many he has posted on Facebook as well as YouTube.
Let me know how you are doing. What is working for you? You can reply to the email! I’d love to hear from you. We are in this together.
We often hear the advice from esteemed spiritual leaders to center ourselves, get ‘centered’, and it may seem awfully vague as to what exactly that means. If it is so good for us, then how do we do it? How do we know we are doing it properly? Does it mean something different in different traditions?
Being centered means we are anchored in both spirit and mind, logic and emotion, physical reality and the ethereal world. Being centered describes being in balance between these two seemingly disparate parts of ourselves. If we stay solely focused on our thoughts and our outside experiences, we find ourselves so fixated on our stories and what is going on around us that we take everything too seriously. This will lead to suffering. If we were to meditate too much, living in a dreamy, blissful state, we’d be too airy, too aloft, not connecting to the physical world and our responsibilities. It could be dangerous to drive in this state!
So what does being centered do for us? How do we ‘get there’?
Michael A. Singer in the Untethered Soul describes it this way: Take a moment to remember that you’re spinning on a planet in the middle of empty space. Then remind yourself that you’re not going to get involved in your own melodrama.
For me, these words bring about a sense of being a part of something much larger than my physical earthly life. It also puts our concerns in perspective — what does it really matter if someone got your parking spot or didn’t answer your text? If you’re centered when your spouse says something that would normally trigger your emotions, you look deeper, sensing what may be underneath the behavior, and you don’t over react. A sense of calm is present.
This is why meditation is useful. It balances the grounding of earthly life with our inner life, shifting our perspective back and forth with each day of practice. As our awareness moves back and forth, back and forth between these perceptions, our ability to be in balance increases. It becomes our new ‘normal’, so much so that being out of balance sets off emotional alarms that call us to come back, return to that state we established where we feel deeply connected to who we are and, at the same time, connected to the beautiful world and people around us.
Other ways to attain this balance is through inspired creativity, expressing through the arts, athleticism, creating in any form; those projects, passions and purposeful activities that connect you deeply to the divine. Solitude, daydreaming, walks in nature, the list is endless. Yoga is an activity designed to draw the attention inward to bring about this balance.
The more you do it the easier it becomes, just like developing any good habit.
Dear Friends,
This is more and more feeling like hurricane prepping and aftermath for me. Not only are we physically limited as to where we can go and the closures of most businesses, but now my home electricity is out! The Universe, Divine guidance, God, is throwing some big blocks in my normal path!
Fortunately, I have a second place to go, our closed to the public office. Here I am sitting with a/c, internet, and a refrigerator. Therefore, don’t feel sorry for me.
I now have time to sit down and write to all of you. And there is a lot on my mind! I’d like to share all the great information coming in to my inbox, the informative articles I’ve gathered, but frankly, we are all overwhelmed with more to read than we ever could. So, let’s not do that.
What a beautiful time to re-evaluate where we are in our life. We have this time for inner reflection. We can engineer a sort of reset; we have an opportunity to make changes-some of us will have to by necessity-in more than one area of our lives. Career, personal growth, relationships, healthy practices, financial health, and spiritual growth.
I am going to pull out and dust off some tried and true exercises to help me envision where I want to be 6 months from now, or a year from now. What will that look like? How will that feel? What will I be experiencing? More health? More peace? More joy?
When I began a serious meditation practice 18 years ago, I routinely filled out the Goals Worksheet. I had to rewrite them every few months because old goals were attained and I set new ones!! Let’s do this together!
It is best to read your goals daily, especially before meditation, then put them aside and don’t think about them. Your higher-self, inner-being, soul, consciousness, (your term) will take it from there.
Here is the worksheet you can print out. It is on the Resources page on my website as well. There is also a recommended reading list on this page.
Let’s all meet in the spiritual realm, where our consciousness merges with mass consciousness, where life energy itself comes from. And we don’t need to set a time when all are meditating, because in the unmanifest, the spiritual realm, there is no time. When we touch upon this dimension, it is always the present. When you make the intention to connect, we’ll be there. See you then!
Oh, and I just found out the electric is back on. Bless the utility people.
Peace, Love and Wellbeing,
Kasey Claytor
I remember the feeling
Hitting a crisis like a new land
With no reference
Strange and eerie
As if the ground fell away
And you scratch to find a toe hold
Bracing, you steel yourself
Ah, but to those who remember
We know this terrain
And we have heard all the alarms before
But, you say, it’s never happened like this
True, it’s always a new version of collapse
Of crisis
It’s always a new creation
A new challenge
But the signs, the feelings
The reactions, the upheavel
It’s always the same energy
And it passes
However resolved
However overcome,
Or just moved past.
And we find ourselves one day
in a new normal
And it goes on
And we’re ok.
Photo from Unsplash, Roberto Nickson
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