Having walked my clients through planning, approaching, and living in retirement financially for the last almost 40 years, I couldn’t help but pick up on other aspects facing us besides the money part, such as grappling with when to retire, what to do in retirement, and how to plan a full and thriving last third of life. As I heard someone say, “What are you going to do between now and death?”

 

As we near our ‘golden years,’ we observe our elders living in a great variety of ways, from scrapping by on social security to cruising or flying around the world and traveling between multiple homes.  There is an undeniable correlation between financial health and satisfaction in the later years, but this doesn’t mean you need to be stinking rich.

 

A successful retirement appears to have several moving parts: financial, health and wellbeing, relationships, passions, and purpose. Let’s face it: Nearing death also affects one’s beliefs and how one experiences one’s spiritual life. So, how do we prepare ourselves for this last and significant period of our lives?

 

First, not planning for it or setting goals, not contemplating how you will live in retirement, can cause unnecessary suffering later on. With no plan, no savings, and with no interests outside of work, some retirees may end up spinning in their own exhaust, nowhere to go and nothing to do. This can be disastrous for the human spirit. Depression and other mental health problems can take hold, leading to unhappiness and even physical ailments. But let’s not dwell on this because the fact that you are reading this means you are proactive, interested, and willing to learn. Yay, you!

 

This topic could easily be a 400-page book, but I will give you the briefest of outlines here.

1) Financially

• Never too early or too late to begin saving. Have your paycheck debited for your employer plan, or have your checking account systematically debited to go into an IRA, as much as you can afford, and then a little more.
• Invest in a broad, diversified portfolio with stocks and bonds, low fees, and comprehensive management.
• Beware if you have the tendency, like some parents of adult children, to financially help them to such an extent that you harm your own comfortable retirement. I remember a client who borrowed against his home and withdrew from his IRAs to help a daughter who said she couldn’t find a job. He did this until he and his wife had to give up their plans to travel with their friends in retirement. He died leaving nothing for his wife, and only after his death did his daughter go to work to support herself.
• We used to say that in the financial business in the 1980s, you needed at least as much in savings as your closest decade,  a hundred thousand dollars for each. For instance, at 40 years old, you should have saved $400,000; at 60, $600,000; and so on. Typical standards now in financial planning state are that it really takes much closer to one million to have financial freedom these days to enable no financial worries and the ability to take care of all your needs.  Yet, I have seen people retire with half that and get along just fine.
• Educate yourself on how money and the markets work. Call our office at 321-383-4005 for our 30-page booklet on the 7 Big Mistakes Investors Make and the 7 Habits of Successful Investors to get you started.

2) Health and Wellbeing

• Of course, take good care of yourself. Eat a good, healthy diet with lots of fresh vegetables, fruits, nuts, and lean proteins.
• Get outside every day. Walk, bike, swim, play, explore, move. Take up yoga or Tai chi, dancing, or some other social exercise. These good habits will be easy to follow into retirement. With good balance, falls become much less likely, among many other benefits.
• Find a mindfulness practice you like, such as meditation, contemplation, breathing techniques, prayer, and self-reflection. Conditioning the mind for well-being is also essential.
• If you do have anxiety, depression, or other emotional problems bothering you, find a good therapist. Most of these issues are resolved with the proper help. Our society still attaches an unfortunate stigma to getting assistance in this area, but it is so essential, shows emotional maturity and self-care, and can be a rewarding experience.
• Develop a positive attitude toward aging and retirement. Daydream about all the activities and experiences you’ll be able to enjoy and the friends and family with whom you will spend time. If you don’t have a close circle of friends, join a club or a class. Get involved in something you enjoy, sports, a book club, knitting, hiking, etc., and read; I can’t stress how much reading can enhance anyone’s life in so many ways. There are so many great books in the self-help genre, but even a great book of fiction is a positive experience.
• Cultivate peace with your own passing. Our cultures in the West have a poor record of coming to terms with death. It’s not usually spoken about except in dramatic and negative ways; we pretend it isn’t inevitable; we try to extend the lives of our loved ones in often grotesque and extreme ways, making their last days, weeks or months lying in a sterile facility hooked up to machines and on heavy medications. My recommendation is to have a good plan. Most states have a Dying with Dignity form to fill out, describing what you want to be done and how in a terminal situation. Let us know if you would like us to mail you one.  Other than this, building a solid belief of your own, whether religious or faith in life and nature, can reframe the end of life as something not to fear. There are many great books on this.

 

3) Relationships

• Fostering good relationships takes time, effort, and the ability to forgive—maybe yourself or others. We all say or do things we don’t mean at times, and we are hurt by others’ words or actions. Without processing these productively, we can be emotionally drained, hurt, or worse. Forgive yourself and others. I know it’s hard. I will never forget a ninety-six-year-old, long-time client on his deathbed telling me he had been too hard on his wife and children. He was verbally abusive. He carried this all of his life. If he had been self-reflective, brave enough to look within, and been able to forgive himself, he wouldn’t have been so full of pain at the end.
• Approaching this last stage of life, we can take the opportunity to develop a positive relationship with ourselves and others that will nurture us.

4) Passions and Purpose

• What do you envision doing during retirement? So many people have jobs they don’t enjoy, so they dream of retiring as soon as possible, looking forward to having endless free days, like permanent weekends. But they’ve spent little time thinking about what they will do in retirement. I’ve seen some retire in their 50s and become bored, aimless, and searching. Some go back to work. Some actually lose interest in life.

On the other hand, I’ve seen people in their 70s who have no intention of retiring anytime soon because they love what they are doing.

• Studies show that the more control you have over what you do at work, who you work with, and so on, the more satisfied you are. I believe that is why entrepreneurs often scoff at the idea of retiring; they are already living the life of their dreams.
• To discover what your perfect retirement might look like, create a vision board of activities and places you’re interested in exploring. Think about what you enjoyed as a child.
• Ask how you may serve your community.

5) Deciding When to Retire

• So, I am guessing you are beginning to see that fiscal retirement is not just about what age you can retire; it is about so much more than that.

1) You want to retire when you are healthy and able to enjoy your passions

2) You’ve figured out how to fulfill your needs for community, purpose, interests, and activities.

3) Ensure you aren’t just continuing to work because you have no idea what else to do with your life. Maybe you aren’t totally satisfied with your work but haven’t invested the time to explore what else might interest you.

4) What about semi-retiring? This is becoming very popular for those who have this option. And if you don’t, perhaps you could retire and pick up a part-time job doing something you’ve always wanted to do, like teaching art or working in a counseling position.

5) Talk with your financial advisor about the income you will need during retirement. Consider the cost of your desired lifestyle, your social security, and the amount of investments it will take to produce the income.

 

These subjects require some introspection; knowing yourself well will help you plan your later years to your benefit. Settling into the idea of being an elder in the community, offering your hard-wrought wisdom, having loving relationships, enjoying the fruits of your labor, knowing how to still play, and exploring the world with a sense of wonder can make your retirement the best time of your life.

 

Photo by Micheile Henderson on Unsplash

Last week was a consequential week in the United States. I’ve heard from many who are suffering trying to come to grips with news of the election results. Of course, I also recognize that many are satisfied with the news. How do we live with this result? What if we are worried about the future?

I was considering this and what advice I could give to my subscribers when, what sometimes synchronistically happens, an email appeared in my inbox from David Michie on this very topic. When what is going through our heads is causing suffering, it is usually something in the future or the past. It hasn’t happened, or it did a while ago. It isn’t happening at the moment. Receiving bad news usually involves worrying about the future and imagining all the worst of our fears.

David Michie is a follower of Buddhist philosophy and has written many best sellers, like the Dalai Lama’s Cat, aimed at entertaining, teaching, and reducing suffering. He’s done a magnificent job. Many Buddhists will tell you that Buddhism is not a religion but a collection of practices and a philosophy designed to lessen suffering in the world and bring about our fully actualized selves—enlightened if you will.

In this latest blog, David discusses Disappointment and four Buddhist insights to help us navigate it. You can read the whole article.

Here are some of the best points:

“Where does disappointment exist: outside us or in our minds? Clearly, it is a psychological thing. We don’t accidentally inhale clouds of disappointment walking down the street. It’s in here, not out there.”

“This moment, here and now, is often unaffected. Our hours, days or weeks are much the same as they were before we got the news. We still do the same things, live the same life. But because of particular news we see the future more darkly.”

And an oft quoted folk tale that I happen to love.:

“ An old man loses his horse to the wild. Horses are a measure of wealth and when his fellow villagers come around wailing and commiserating, he just says stoically, ‘We’ll see.’

Days later his horse returns – along with a few wild horse friends he picked up along the way. The man is now richer by several horses! The villagers come round delighted for him – if somewhat envious. He just says, ‘We’ll see.’

Attempting to ride one of the wild horses, his son is thrown off and breaks his leg. It is harvest time and everyone is needed to help in the fields. The villagers wring their hands, despondently. ‘We’ll see,’ the old man tells them.

The imperial army comes around recruiting able-bodied young men. Unlike other young men, his son is exempt from dangerous battle.

And so it goes.”

And

“Rather than entertaining thoughts about what may or may not happen in the future, how about letting go of them? Returning our focus to the here and now – i.e. the same place before we opened the faucet of speculative misery to full bore. There is nothing to be gained by tormenting ourselves with futile, negative cognition, or by opening ourselves up to the media and others who have no interest in our mental wellbeing. We have agency. We are in charge. Let’s remain calmly in the present moment, and practice equanimity: we’ll see.”

Have a wonderful week,

To Your Prosperity and Wellbeing,

Kasey Claytor

Photo by Charles Deluvia on Unsplash

When I was a child, there was a word describing an attribute used in the ‘olden days’ that you never hear anymore—at least how it was used then. Now, that word is used for many descriptions and often separates people. It’s too bad because this attribute would be so appreciated if it were to flow back into use in our society.

Upon hearing this word, one would imagine a gentle, polite person moving about in a way that made those around them feel comfortable. He or she would smile readily, grasp your hand upon being introduced, and make you feel as though you were the most important person at that moment.

Yes, when I was young, a person who was described as having class was a person who put others at ease and was never offensive. This is what my father taught me. And he did indeed have class.

It had nothing to do with someone’s income level, the way it is used today.

A person with class knew how to listen without interrupting. When they entered a room, you could feel their calm energy. They were magnetic, elegant in a way of being.

To a person with class, it wasn’t about them; they were genuinely interested in those they were meeting, talking to, and working with. They excelled in their working environments, perhaps even achieving more than one without this quality.

Of course, we still have people all around us with class today. However, class doesn’t seem to be valued as it used to. With all of our emphasis on ourselves, expressing our authenticity, bringing our gifts out to shine, and focusing on our own goals, our dreams, and our desires, we’re missing something.

We aren’t mastering an attribute that helps bring out the greatness in those around us. Becoming all that we want to be is accelerated by assistance from others with this quality.

With all the gross name-calling, constant criticism, vulgarities, smears, and sarcasm flooding our media and conversations, how can we mature into a kind and understanding society? One that fosters each other’s growth?

Let’s be classy.

We realize many, if not most, of you found the Kasey Claytor site and offerings because you are interested in financial success. We hear you. Many came to us because they were interested in one of Kasey’s books. We plan to send a survey soon to ask why you went to the Kasey Claytor site and what you would like to see in future offerings to live your life with joy and well-being. For instance, would you like to see more on the financial markets? How about more on meditation and creating wholesome well-being?
Look for this in your inbox soon.

One of the things Kasey has grappled with is narrowing her topics down to one or a few! She is interested in almost everything, even having blogs on politics, finance, and well-being.

Also, Kasey is setting up a free giveaway on Goodreads starting August 26,
2024, for her Money Map Book, signed by the author. It is a great time to join if you aren’t on Goodreads. There is so much great information, news on your favorite authors, reviews, to-read lists, and a chance to write your own book reviews.

Lastly, Kasey’s memoir, Finding the Light, Navigating Dementia with Her Son, is coming out this October. The reviews are already pouring in! Read some below.

To Your Prosperity and Wellbeing,

The Phoenix Team

____________________________________________

Reviews for Finding the Light

I was deeply moved by Justin’s journey as Kasey Claytor depicted in the book. Dalai Lama may see it as a reminder of the frailty of the human condition and the importance of compassion, patience, and love in caring for those who are suffering. It can be an opportunity to practice empathy, kindness, and selflessness in supporting individuals with dementia and their families.
Practical advice given for families within this book in similar situation is invaluable.
Vijay Jain MD, Integrative Medicine physician integrating Ayurveda with modern medicine.

“Finding the Light offers a ground-level and personable view into the experience of FTD for all whom it touches. Perhaps more importantly, Claytor provides the crucial reminder of the inherent wholeness that is ever retained in those diagnosed with FTD – witnessed here in the life of her son, Justin. This book serves not as a disembodied manual or how-to guide, but rather as a humane and spiritual reorientation to the gifts in life that
will not be limited by the diminishment of cognitive functioning.”
– Rev. Matthew Kern, MDiv

I first met Justin when I was working as a new nurse at Market Street. Although his time with us was cut short, he will forever be a positive light in my nursing journey. His love for his mom (BME)and brother Aaron, was so apparent. Kasey and her family played such a pivotal role in Justin’s health and well-being, and advocating for him was always their priority. In this memoir, Kasey showcases FTD on a raw, unfiltered, emotional level. This book will be such an eye-opening tool for other families and healthcare professionals!

–Danielle Torres, LPN

A few more:

“WOW ok, so I read this “entire” manuscript and am changed for it. I can’t wait for this book to come out!”

AND

“I am in tears after reading this. Many do not have the where with all, the higher perspective, and the ability to cope as you have and see what you can see, and that will be the gift and the practical.”